The book is small so the task of reading didn't seem to overwhelming. I wondered what kind of good advice such a small book would have. In the beginning she blabs on and on about her credentials, college degrees, how she's a homeschool curriculum writer, and her husband is a minister. I almost put the book down because the last thing I needed was to hear how tough it was for some highly educated pastors wife with a perfect life! But as she reveals, at times, she also feels inadequate to teach. Wow. Suddenly I don't feel so alone.
She also reveals her life is not so perfect as it may seem. When speaking of her husband, a preacher, she says, "He preaches each sunday. He labors over his messages. After services he greets his people warmly. His suit shoulders often have makeup (not mine) and baby drool on them. He loves the little ones and greets them as sincerely as he greets their parents. He is regularly seen with a child in his arms. Guess what? He doesn't teach math in our homeschool. He doesn't teach science either. Even family devotions can be crowded out if church needs or responsibilities are too pressing. It happens more often than either of us would like to admit....Right before my very eyes I would see homeschool dads who seemed to personify perfect homeschool manhood. They were always there for heart-to-hearts with mom or kids, to guide, direct, and discipline when needed. I would find myself becoming idealistic and grumpy."
How do we learn satisfaction with the homeschool dads God has given us? Ever felt like she has?
1. Realize you are on the outside looking in. As Christians, we strive to glorify God through our family. Be assured that those same men are bonified sinners that walk on the earth just like our husbands. No matter how perfect they seem, it's just not the case.
2. Understand that your husband is just as commited to your children's education. You may live it out differently but know that he trusts you 100% if he's not constantly checking in on you.
3. Stop putting so much pressure on your husband to be like the Jones'. I have heard ladies say when boasting amongst each other, "My husband has quit his side jobs and dropped overtime as a sacrifice to be home with us more." And all the ladies around the room say, "Awe, how sweet." And in their mind, they are thinking, 'wish my husband would do that.' Be assured that the majority of men who have stopped striving so hard at work have caved to the pressure of their suggestive wife who believes the kids are not having a quality life due to the lack of the fathers involvement.
Have you ever met military families? These brave men are shipped off for months or years at a time leaving only the mothers to raise the family. So why do the vast majority of these children love, cherish, and have the utmost respect for their fathers?
Mother, you are the key. Your perspective will carve the image of Dad in their sweet little minds. If you are constantly complaining to your husband about his overtime, inabilities, and lack of dedication for the family be assured that your children are listening to you grumble or "suggest". Your children will mimic the attitude you have toward your spouse and will develop the same opinions. Soon that hard working dad will all of the sudden become a looser in the eyes of his children. Mother, that is the worst thing that could happen! You don't want this! Be happy with whatever involvement he can give. Lastly, pray. Let your discontentment be made known to God. A little conversation with God will help you get a good perspective.
"for I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Philippians 4:11
Start making some changes with your schedule. If your family life consists of a husband who works late, start adjusting the children's schedules to his. It may involve your kids staying up later to get some additional time with Dad. Isn't homeschool about taking advantage of flexibility? Wait on Dad for dinner. They will learn respect and consideration for Dad when you postpone dinner just especially for him! Find ways to show Dad you appreciate his hard work, and your children will do the same. I do not recall ever hearing our daughter complain about Dad being at work late, but I have heard her mimic me in stating, "I sure miss Dad." She greets him with a kiss at the door everyday especially when he comes home late.....not a frumpy disappointed face. I challenge you to get a good perspective. What kind of face will you greet your hard working husband with today?
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